It is this time of the year again, where Mother's Day would come first, and subsequently Father's Day. It NEVER fails to put most of us children to extensive guilt and panic, trying to figure out what to do to show them our love ; or more often than not, to show that we are putting effort to try to do something,heh. Nevertheless, it always ends on happy notes with a family dinner, or an outing. Perhaps even the time spent hanging out in the living room, of old and worn couches may prove to be cosy and fuzzy. It does not matter if your peers have flat LED screens, whilst you guys have fat tv boxes. It will always, always be blissful of mutual love between family members with just each other's company.
Articles from blogs and whatever journals tend not to be personal. Heck even "KOSMO!" and your Utusan do not take things personally, its not even personal when its shenanigans are published! (not that I can confirm, I don't read their stuff, but who gives a flying-spaghetti-monster) Albeit so, such topics has to be personal. Come on guys, its way much more personal than your MCA politician-cum-adult actor debut DVD. (See what I did there?)
So you must be wondering why is the title of such, most of you would have guessed it, its probably the reason why you're even reading this post. Yes, my mother is the father I have never had. No it is not that I'm made in a petri dish, nor did my mother got knocked up by some son of a b***h that ran away. By the way does anyone know why they're called test tube babies, when they're actually conceived in a petri dish?
Like a good number of children from generation Y, my parents are divorced. In fact, they split up when I was reasonably young. I still do meet the biological father from time to time, and for the first decade of my life. But as most would agree, parenting is most memorable and significant in 3 stages. Infancy, adolescence, and adulthood. During infancy, the very most a child would remember, is the lost of his favourite toy and whatever abuses or traumatising "loving touches" he received in the bathroom. For parents, I would think they'd remember most things, even for insignificant ones. The volume and temperature of your milk when you're 4? Your sleeping and feeding routine? The brand of your crayons and diaper? Yeah...
To keep certain information from you nosy readers, lets refer to daddy as Ryan, and mommy as Allie.
After Ryan left with another unqualified hairdresser ; whom also has a family, Allie had to work more than twice the buttload to provide 3 of her liabilities to tertiary education. Not to mention sizeable meals, every single time. What about the expensive property that was almost auctioned off? Or the frequent calls from unknown strangers demanding payment of Ryan's loans, thank the flying spaghetti monster that they're not violent gangsters! At some point, Allie left her long time career to churn up an extravagant amount of cash. We were not anywhere near the category of hardcore poor, the parents had a million dollar company that tumbled when Ryan misused the funds on things that are... nevermind that.
Can you at all imagine, getting up at 5am every single morning. To check the children's homework, breakfast, and clothing, and then head to work and come home at 10pm. Repeat everything else plus housework and your personal things until 12am at night, and everything else tomorrow. For a whole 20 over years, this was Allie's routine. To make shit worse, her children had the thick ass cheeks to demand more pocket money and family time! Yes yes, family companionship always outweighs money as portrayed in fairytale movies like Adam Sandler's "Click". Problem is, the financial gains from such tedious working hours were only sufficient to cover our daily expenses and small luxuries to keep her motivated. By small, I mean cheap clothing and cheap handbags small. Child support? That flew out the window many years back when Ryan has never given full support-payment ,ever. And even stopped entirely after several moons. She had not filed for any compensation, mind you.
To clear things up, I am not trying to be prejudiced or biased, but Ryan had been able to afford CARS and other things with disregard to his children's welfare. It is their problem on the fornicating issues, but for a child to be refused support from his bread-winner is just tough, what more the "widow" ? As you can see, I might seem to be perceived as an angry problem child with divorced parents issues. To clear things up, it is actually extreme disappointment in one parent. A father will always be a father, but he does not deserve the things he had not even attempted to provide. At least thats how I view it. Hey try your luck on the other 4 children will ya?
Now to glorify things, my mother was the one whom bought me my first cologne when I was young a teen.(Still teen) How about the first bicycle I've ever had? Talks and opinions on business methods? You got that right, mother was the one doing them business and life-skill talks. In most cases, it will be the father that chats up about girlfriends and other thingamabobs of such. For us,it was mother whom advised and punished us for our mischiefs and misconducts (and women). As for the stereotype that mothers are the "feelers" , while fathers are the rational "thinkers" ; mom was both. She had taken the damn liberty to both roles of a parent, being a father and a mother at the same time! How do you even do that! Honestly I do not think I can take up responsibilities of a mother when I have a kid of my own. She had 3,and provided overwhelmingly more than sufficient, for financial,emotional, and practical well being. Quick secret, guess who was the one teaching me how to drive a car?
As mentioned,she was the father I've never had. Albeit so she had assistance from caring siblings. For her, its been a long and tedious journey, and it will continue. Perhaps the best thing that would make her proud and not put her life's work to waste, is to complete my bachelor's and refrain from further f**king myself up. For example, the use of vulgarities. But mom, it is a tool to express oneself in a more accurate and expressive manner. Hence I shall not be stopping it any time soon.
Happy Father's Day, Mom!
Picture for further illustration.
